Boundary-setting
Oct. 12th, 2009 01:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lightcastlePlacing the responsibility for education back on the other is a fine derailing tactic with a long history.
So, since I am dripping with white, heterosexual, cis-male, able-bodied privilege (I'm sure I've left some out), I'm going to keep trying to get some of this to stick.
(I promise to post giant spider pictures or something else fun later, though. ^_^)
For those willing to do some 101 reading, I'll point to the excellent Schrödinger’s Rapist post by Starling and the Rape Culture 101 post at Shakesville.
Both of those should have trigger warnings, btw. (Also, the comments are not 101, but well worth it.)
However, I am going to take another tack concerning the whole "approaching a woman on public transit".
I understand that using the word "rapist" makes men uncomfortable and defensive. Of course, that's part of the point. Nonetheless, I am going to take a different tack to try and make the point and remove rape and sexual politics from the equation entirely.
I ask my readership a simple question.
Do you feel that you have the right to be left alone if you don't want to talk to someone? More generally, do you have the right to set your own boundaries for personal interaction? Finally, does someone have the right to impose themselves on you until you have sufficiently proven to their satisfaction that you really don't want them there?
So, since I am dripping with white, heterosexual, cis-male, able-bodied privilege (I'm sure I've left some out), I'm going to keep trying to get some of this to stick.
(I promise to post giant spider pictures or something else fun later, though. ^_^)
For those willing to do some 101 reading, I'll point to the excellent Schrödinger’s Rapist post by Starling and the Rape Culture 101 post at Shakesville.
Both of those should have trigger warnings, btw. (Also, the comments are not 101, but well worth it.)
However, I am going to take another tack concerning the whole "approaching a woman on public transit".
I understand that using the word "rapist" makes men uncomfortable and defensive. Of course, that's part of the point. Nonetheless, I am going to take a different tack to try and make the point and remove rape and sexual politics from the equation entirely.
I ask my readership a simple question.
Do you feel that you have the right to be left alone if you don't want to talk to someone? More generally, do you have the right to set your own boundaries for personal interaction? Finally, does someone have the right to impose themselves on you until you have sufficiently proven to their satisfaction that you really don't want them there?
no subject
Date: 2009-10-12 09:01 pm (UTC)Whether I have the right to have everyone else respect my boundaries without my having to communicate them is a more difficult question, to which my answer is "Sometimes yes; sometimes no. It depends on the boundary, the prevailing social conventions, and the consequences of getting it wrong."
Sometimes it makes sense for everyone to assume the most restrictive possible boundaries on everyone's part, because the consequences of taking unwelcome liberties is high.
But not always.
Edit: if it's not clear -- my answers are "yes" to your first two questions and "it depends" to the third.