Favorite definition ever and the response to it:
"Mutually Orgasm Seeking Behaviour"

Context:
A former medical provider: "Are you currently having sex?"
Friend: "It depended on the definition."
MP: "Are you engaging in mutually orgasm seeking behaviours?"
Friend: "I'm seeing someone, but we're both on SSRIs. Don't think either of us remember what orgasms are."
MP and friend: Giggling
Friend: "The answer, to what you wanted your question to be, is no, I'm not at high risk, but yes I want testing."